Three Decades and Counting…

We are back yet again with another testimony of ‘happy ever after’. This is from a couple that have lived together since they said “I do “ 3 decades now and they are happier than they first met. In their own words, ‘it seems only like it were yesterday when we met.’

My story- Man’s Perspective.

I saw this girl that I was attracted to and knew I wanted to spend my life with her someday because of her character and beauty. However, there was a barrier to my goal. She was from a well off family and we were extremely poor to say the least. I actually can’t describe the kind of poverty we were living in at the time, in words.

In a company of three every time we met her at her place or wherever, she still were able to pinpoint me. This I appreciate because at one point when I saw that we were growing fond of each other and I had nothing to provide her, I decided to take her and introduce her to two of my wealthy cousins at the time, in two separate occasions and left her to choose whoever would make her happy. After noticing this, she confronted me and told me she was of age to decide whom she wanted to be with. So if I dint want her, I would as well leave her to find her partner on her own. That’s how sure she was of what she wanted. That is when I decided I was also worth of her love. That’s when I realized she sure did love me.

We dated and people often tell us how we were so much in love that they feared we would never wait to say ‘I DO’ for we were always seen together almost always as twins. We planned our wedding but were advised to do it a bit earlier due to our stubbornness.

Wedding preparations were just Ok. After all, we knew nothing, had not witnessed any at the time and had nothing on our accounts so we depended on the church, friends and well-wishers. And as it is, we barely had NO say on money that was not ours. Better still, they saved us of the stresses that come with all the planning don’t you think?

During the wedding prep , I witnessed the peak of my bride’s love. She would leave her home daily to my place to help build a house we can call our own once we were finally together. She did this passionately that she had no one following her. in fact, she was the one putting me on toes.

Wedding day came and went. And the one thing I remember about it, I dozed halfway through. That’s how tired I was from the previous activities of fetching the bride the night before as well as getting our final round of counseling by our able elder couple friend and best couple.

Immediately after, I had to go look for work…greener pastures they say. I was not about to leave my bride behind for anything of course, but people had put so much pressure on how we needed to live…wife had to start tilling the land and literally take care of the home while I went out for work in a far land. Days passed and I kept on persuading her to come with me but she would not hear of it. Then she got ill occasionally. At one point they had to go borrow a wheelbarrow to ferry her to the hospital. When I heard of it, I got my opportunity and I carried her with me to this day, we do not know what separation is.

Children came and grew and everyday seemed sweeter than the previous day. Not without our flaws and differences though. I remember some days I would go upcountry straight from work without telling her to follow up a land dispute. With no phones at the time, I would probably send someone who might see her to tell her I will be returning the next day. She never took these days well with me. And we would argue for some time as I justify my actions but never did we ever sleep on an unfinished business/talk. This communication formula, I came to realize that strengthened our relationship to this day.

Woman’s Perspective

I credit all to God for bringing us thus far. Praying together was a part of us.

My wedding day unlike many brides was just an ordinary day for me. My highlight for the three decades I have lived with my husband though, was the day I gave out my daughter for marriage to the love of her life. That was a day of mixed feelings…those of happiness and fear as well as anxiety.

My lowest moment was just recently when we both lost our jobs and found a new hustle. We went to get our different business products in the city but some guys just decided they were going to have our piece of cake. We had used all we had, and my husband was almost knocked down by a car following up our hard end sweat. Loosing that kind of money and good stuff that we had chosen passionately, just broke me. Then I realized, it could have been worse than just losing those products to those guys. I realized we had only lost money. Our lives and health were intact and we could always find more money somehow. Accepting this was not easy though, it took me a week of denial and hope that things would turn out different and that the nightmare would soon end. The lord found us another way to this and I am grateful for the lesson I learnt from this incidence.

In conclusion, the lord has been faithful.

Takeaway points to our years of friendship and love are:

·         No one is flawless

·         Perseverance is the mother of all marriages

·         Love beats all logic

·         Never under estimate the power of prayer- It is God’s tool of success.

·         Read, read and read more- for knowledge is power

·         Seek direction when need be

·         Satisfy your partner and it will be reciprocated to you.

·         Always have an open mind; do not be deep rooted in culture, norms and routines.